Pew pew

I have fallen in love with Stumbleupon.com and from the unhearit.com


addicted to stumbling when i should be sleeping XP

Sophie's a Turd.

End o story

Cold

Some people are just cold. I understand how people do it, but I don't see why. There are so many better ways to live life than constantly betraying and hurting the ones that love you.


You can't fix everyone. Such a sad, but true line.

Music Freedom

I love getting lost in music. Just spent over an hour just going through my songs and listening to a few that I haven't heard in forever.






blah!

Days 4 and 5

Day 4: Didn't do anything today, I didn't even write on time, although I was thinking about it all day. I just didn't get around to it. It feels pretty crappy having to write this so I'm definitely going to have to step my game up.

Day 5: Well so much for stepping my game up. Did one set of benchpress, then left to clean my apartment for a game night that Sophie and I were setting up. The game night went swimmingly lol It was a lot of fun. Definitely going to have to do it again.

Current Mood: Sweaty :P



Currently Listening to: Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins.



P.S. My girlfriend is adorable. I love her :)

2 Months, 15 Pounds.

So I made a bet with my girlfriend that I could lose 15lbs in two months. Today is the third day of that bet and I'm exhausted. Not because of the increase of exercise, but because of the lack of sleep I've been having. I'm not sure if I'm actually having nightmares or not, but I've been telling everyone I have just to explain the simple fact that I can't fall asleep sometimes. I'm not sure why I lie about such little things, but anyways. Day 3.



I Started at 184.6lbs. The first day I ran 2.5 miles and lifted weights. What's remarkable is that I've been lifting on and off for about 3 weeks now and the amount I am able to lift has gone up considerably. I started being able to rep 135lbs on benchpress. Now I can easily lift 150.

Day 2: I didn't sleep the night before, so I didn't do anything. I scolded myself for getting sidetracked off working out, but instead I went out with a friend. My alcohol tolerance has risen again. I had 5 beers in quick succession and only maintained a buzz. Hollow's are pretty sick. weeeenk.

Day 3: Slept like a baby bear, and from what I was told, snored like one too. Slept on my parents couch too, woke up around 3 A.M. and kinda spazzed because I forgot where I was. I ran about 3 Miles today. Walked a little bit of it just because I'm feeling so sluggish from not sleeping two night ago. Still feeling sluggish, but managed to do 3 sets of benchpress with 135. Felt easy, but just couldn't get myself to go up in weight. Right after I ate I weighed 186.4. The weight bet isn't looking good haha. Nah, for some reason I gain weight before I lose it. Whetever, by weeks end I should be about 180. That's the target at least. Hopefully I don't forget to keep updating this.

The End (of the day)

The long drives home from my ex-girlfriend's house were always the longest and loneliest ones. I would look back at the conversations and feelings we had shared with each other and evaluate them. I'm not really sure what I was looking for, it was just like I wanted to go back and think, not feel, them. My thoughts would eventually turn to some deep interpretation about life and death or something along those lines. The reason I'm saying this is because, tonight I was driving home from my girlfriend's house feeling and thinking the same way. The nostalgia was almost overwhelming, but without fail, my thoughts turned to deep thoughts about life and death. I also thought about how I would portray these thoughts if I had to write them down and this is about as far as I got so bear/bare(?) with me. I'm not writing this as some life changing story on how I overcame an obstacle or learned a valuable lesson through my struggles. It's simply a story of what's shaped my life and philosophies up until now. During the drive home, I'm normally listening to techno/house music or the oldies that the radio stations play at night, maybe that's what adds to my nostalgia. Maybe it's just the night. Maybe it's just being alone, with no one to share my thoughts with. They always sound silly when spoken out loud. I'd prefer to share them with words on a paper or screen than lose the value of them. Anyways, this particular night had me thinking, "What if this life, this existence is all we get? What if once we pass away, there is no cloudy heaven to move onto, no resurrection, no afterlife?" I've always been a firm believer, or rather, had a firm hope that there was something after death. That death was just another stage in our continued existence. That the soul would move on and our body was just a shell that transported us through this part of our existence. Let's be honest, the thought of not existing anymore scares the hell out of me. I've found that the truths that are the hardest to accept are often true though. The world is my home and I love it, but I'll be the first to admit it has its flaws. If there is a higher power, it balanced out all the good in this world with some harsh realities. Famine, rape, murder, war, disease, injustice, and insanity are all the kicks in the face humanity has had to endure and that isn't even the tip of the iceberg. The even bigger kick is how we are by nature. I'm not trying to argue that people are naturally good or evil. I'd say all of us are shades of gray, everyone has their dark secret even if it's only stealing a stick of gum from your friend. However, many of the woes we face are our own doing, and that will never change. It's in our blood to survive. Sometimes this drive causes us to do horrible things to others, but there are always two sides to every story. Eventually all of us have to face the dark of night and make the best of it. If there is nothing after death, then life is all we have. I guess what I'm trying to say is at the end of the day, all we have is our actions from the day. When you are closing your eyes, ushering everything else out and you think of how you spent the precious minutes of that day will you be happy with the impression you left? Or during those last instances before the clock strikes twelve, will you be wishing for another twenty-four hours to set things straight?

Broken

my hand is shattered, so bear with me. I have four pins in my right hand after crushing it on super bowl Sunday. Telephone, ice Cream, Zebra. Watching the parent's house. Two days until Valentine's Day. Currently With Sophie. Want it to stay that way. She spoils me. I love her very much.

my hand feels like it's tingling with power, probably just the lortabs. lol

Losing my train of thought.

Current mood: Insightful. Motivated.

Trying to find a song to match my mood....

in honor of just watching forgetting Sarah Marshall

Currently Listening to: Dracula's Wedding - Outkast